new year part 2

home made schedule.
sangat tak best bile byk sgt petang.
isnin lak pagi. kalo isnin petang,ley la blk lmbt skit.
adus. *sad face*

anyway,back to my new year resolution. hey hey. flash news. my hp dah elok la. stress tol hp rosak2 ni. kalo de duit lebey kan ley beli hp baru macam tipah. aiceh. sedar la yan. ko takde duit. haha

ok ok. back to my point here.

4) erm,keghairahan dah hilang skit bila nampak jadual camni. tapi takpe,kata aton,jadual ni boleh direpair. aton ni bagi byk sgt harapan ni. tak bek tau. kalo tak jadi kan dah buat saya kecewa. notty aton ni. lolz

so,azam saya nak pandang ke hadapan. nak cuba buat yang terbaek. takmo alasan2 dah. takmo menaruh harapan yang tinggi tok sesuatu yang tak pasti,yang belum tentu menjadi milik diri. aiceh. ni ley ganti zahiril ni. masuk theater la aku pasni. lolz. aku sedar,kadang2 aku ni terlalu byk meminta. tak bersyukur. jadi,aku nak berhenti angan2,aku nk start bukak mata dan hargai apa yang ada. kita yang tentukan hidup kita sendri. jadi,aku akan cuba buat yang terbaek sem ini dan juga sem depan.

5) aku nak belajar masak. yes. aku. dan masak. yeah,i know. mungkinkah makanan itu beracun jika azyan memasaknya? bolehkah dimakan? lolz tapi aku masih mahu belajar memasak. skunk aku ske wat pastry. aku dah berjaya buat apple pie,dan aku nak wat macam2 lagi kek yang ada dalam buku resepi makcik aku. pastu aku nak belajar masak lauk simple2. haha oleh kerna aku dok umah sewa,aku harap aku dapat masak2 kat sana. tp sebab jadual aku abes ptg,susah skit la. jadi mungkin weekend ke? hehe ha,kalo korunk nak try resepi spaghetti bolognese yang sedap,meh cuba resepi dari kak nona. sedap.

hoi hoi. setakat ni je la azam aku. byk2 kang aku tak ley nak capai lak. biasala. aku saja je wat azam ni sebab aku nak bangkitkan semangat aku. tok cuba yang terbek.

ada orang kata,azam bukan nak tunggu tahun baru je. kena wat azam baru tiap2 hari. tok cuba jadi lebih baik dari smlm. btol2. tapi apa salahnya aku wat azam ini tok ingat kan diri aku tentang perubahan yang cuba aku wat untuk tahun ni. biasala. umur bukan belas2 lagi. nak tukar PULUH2 dah. ala,tak bestnye. hehe

okla kawan-kawan. selamat tahun baru! :D

new year resolution part 1

Baru lepas sambut bday abah. It was just a simple birthday,nothing special. Abah was born on 29^th December 1953. You can make our own calculation rite? Lolz. Abah dah tua,tp still ensem. Sebab tu anak die cun. Aiceh.

mum n dad @ raya. abah ensem kan? *wink wink* lolz

So,skunk nak masuk new year. So I think I ought to do some resolution.

1) kalo dulu masa aku kat matrik,aku maleh sgt nk pakai tudung yg matching dgn baju kurung. tiap2 hari pakai tudung hitam je. tak hitam,putih. so,selepas di-sound oleh kawan aku yg buhsan tgk tudung yang sama setiap saat,maka aku berjanji pada mereka,yang aku akan pakai tudung yang matching kat U nnt. oleh sebab aku ''jarang-jarang'' pakai baju kurung,so technically aku tak break janji aku la kan? lolz. so,azam aku tahun ni nak brush up pemakaian aku. tak mo la nampak selekeh depan yus nanti bila die balik kan? *lolz* so,nak kena la lawa-lawa skit,eventho aku tau aku selekeh. ok,statement aku ni akan mengundang banyak perlian dari kawan-kawan yang baca,but hey,lets take it positively rite? sekurang-kurangnya aku de la inisiative nk berubah. takkan sneakers selamanya. kadang-kadang,tak salah de heels skit an? lolz. aku dah demam ni. haha

2) kawan-kawan aku kenal aku dengan hajime kindaichi. tak kenal? tak pe. baca sini. sampai aku panggil membe aku ryu amakusa. dan nama yan jime tu lekat sampai skunk. kuat tak kuat pengaruh hajime kindaichi dlm hidup aku. yes,aku suka dan sayang sangat dengan jime. owh,by the way,collection comic aku tu dah bertambah dah. dah siap de almari lama adjust blk,tampal kat dinding tok letak sume komik aku. lolz. skunk aku rasa aku dah cukup dengan anime + manga. cukup2 la jadi otaku. haha so,aku nak beralih angin plak. impian aku tok bina satu mini library still ada,tp skunk nk penuhkan dengan novel b.i. plus,i need to brush up my english. lagipun,kita tak tau apa ilmu baru yang kita dapat dari novel tu. ada duit lebey skit nnt aku nak start my own library. baru je nak start ni. moga2 dapat kumpul banyak novel before kite review blk akhir tahun 2010.

3) ok,ni resolusi ini agak tipikal la bagi seorang pompuan yang agaknya tak pernah bersyukur dengan apa yang dia ada. bagi aku,aku rasa aku gemuk. well,the fact is aku dah gained 2.5 kilo while aku kat umah. how nice is that. so,aku mestilah wat resolusi yang AKU NAK KURUS!! haha. biasala,setiap kali kita pandang cermin, (*ok,start dari sini aku rasa pompuan je yg rasa camni,but guys pun maybe feels the same way too), kita akan cakap kat diri sendri, ''eeii,gemuk nye aku''.or ''kalo aku kurus lagi mesti aku nampak lagi howt'' or something like that.

so,untuk mengelakkan diri kita rasa down,lagi2 pas kena mara dengan lecturer or something like that,why dont we start feeling happy for ourself?i just read on cleo jan edition, something on operation beautiful, where she posted a post-it note on her mirror,saying how great she look. so,everytime she looked in the mirror,she will reminds herself that she is beautiful,not ugly. ha,kan nmpk lagi positive cam2? dengan secara tak langsung akan buat mood korunk lagi ceria. so,lepas ni,korunk tampal note yang mengatakan ''you are beautiful''. tampal kat mana2 yang senang nampak,and in this case,cermin. setiap kali korunk baca,self confidence akan naik. aku tak penah lagi try,tapi lepas baca info ni,teringin nak wat. kesimpulannya,resolusi die bukanlah lagi untuk menguruskan badan,but just be happy for what you are. :)

to be cont..

saje cuba cuba sebab ia nampak seronok. lagipun aku dah lama tak buat tagged eventho orang tak tagged aku. lolz

Rules: It's harder than it looks ! Copy to your own blog, erase my answers , enter yours , and tag twenty people including the person who tagged you . Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions .

They have to be real . Nothing made up ! IF the person before you had the same first initial , you must use different answers . You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question .

What is your name : azyan

A four Letter Word : ayam

A boy's Name : ahmad

A girl's Name : athirah

An occupation : astronaut

A color : ai not sure. lolz

Something you'll wear : armani.

A type of food : ayam goreng

Something found in the bathroom : air

A place : australia

A reason for being late : angkat kain jemuran

Something you'd shout : aargghh!!

A movie title : avatar

Something you drink : air sejuk

A musical group : aerosmith

An animal : ayam

A type of car : Audi TT Coupé. awesome!

A type of fruit : anggur

The title of a song : after midnight - yuna

gee,susah jugak ni. lolz
spe nk wat la. :D

this is gay

this is a total gay.
spe nk order,g sini.
LMAO.

new project

this is what i do last week. more info,visit here.
i think i'm good at this. :)

wajib baca

*sila baca sampai habis dan berikan ulasan anda.*

Melah hanyalah gadis biasa. Tapi bukan biasa seperti normality gadis bandar yang lain. Dia agak 'kelam'. Dia suka menyendiri. Tak ramai kawan. Dia baru saja pindah ke sebuah kampung. Kampung di mana bapanya tinggal dan bertugas sebagai seorang pengawal keselamatan.

Melah pindah ke sana sebab ibunya terpaksa ikut suaminya yang baru. Suami mak Melah bertugas sebagai seorang ahli sarkis amatur. Sebab nak bagi privacy kat mak, Melah ikutkan saja hatinya ke kampung bapaknya.

Di sana, Melah jumpa Mail. Seorang lelaki kacak tapi agak misteri. Mukanya agak hensem. Macam Hans Isaac. Mail ni tak ramai kawan. Sebab dia suka menyendiri dan hanya lepak dengan adik-beradiknya yang berkulit agak gelap.

Satu hari, Melah hampir dilanggar moto mat rempit. Tapi dengan sepantas kilat Mail datang selamatkan Melah. Mail tolak moto mat rempit yang hampir melanggar Melah dengan kelajuan tak masuk akal. Dengan sebelah tangan je.

Lepas tu, Melah dapat tahu. Mail adalah orang minyak. Tapi Mail bukan orang minyak tipikal. Dia tak suka rogol anak dara. Dia berbeza. Dia suka rogol kambing. Melah macam berbelah bagi. Tapi dia macam kena pukau dengan kekacakan Mail yang hitam pekat tapi berhidung mancung serta bermata biru.

Mail tak boleh kena cahaya matahari. Sebab bila kena, badannya akan berkelip-kelip macam bintang di angkasa. Hitam berkelip. Melah jatuh cinta. Dia tak kisah Mail suka rogol kambing. Dia redha.

Melah juga ada seorang kawan yang dikenalinya sejak dari kecil. Namanya Borhan. Borhan ni pulak ada rahsia dia sendiri. Dia bukan manusia biasa, tapi boleh berubah menjadi harimau jadian.

the original writer : pjoe

terbaek!!!! lolz lolz lolz lolz lolz lolz!!!

books

i went to pc fair yesterday, with kat and ctea and hana. i didnt buy anything, but i went to kinokuniya to buy some books. there were thousand of books there.

but,the main problem was,i couldnt find anything in particular. i mean,there were so many books that seems interesting but i didnt know what to choose,and which to buy. could you guys could tell/suggest me some really good book for read?

p/s : it seems like comic-book-era for me is almost over. i'm starting my English novel collection. *wide grin*

p/s/s : eventually i bought -the alchemist by Paul Coelho. the books is interesting. cant wait to see the ending.

p/s/s/s : on my way back,i saw lots of people reading in putra. i love to see that our people finally understand the benefit of reading,instead of babbling about stupid things.

fashion emergencies.

i need help. or i should call it fashion emergency. haha

i need a bag. not a handbag,no.
a sling-bag is a must,definitely.
a beg which i could take to class
and when i'm out with him
or when i'm going away for 2,3 days. heh.
a simple bag.
not too girl-y,but not quite sporty.
not too big,but of coz it cant be too small,
or it couldnt fit my books in there.
i dun really mind the color.

or the price (i hope.)
susahnye nk cari beg yg seswai~~~ T.T


no 1 : cute n sporty,but not big enuf.

no 2 : too oxford-y.

no 3 : too cute,even for me.

no 4 : adorable n cute. but too big.

no 5 : nice. but not fit for classes. plus it doesnt have straps,
which is essential for my *sling-bag-criteria* hih

no 6 : mediocre. not too fancy about it. just nice. *the blog's name is cute*



while looking for begs,i stumble upon this!

cute cute cute cute! *wink wink*

and this. funny eh? :D

facebook again.

i know i know.
i am so not good with this.

tapi aku rasa salah ke kalo nk wat fb aku more private?
like,i only add people whom i know and really talk to.


it was kindda idiot to add someone without knowing who he/she is.
dem.

aku sombong ke?

sweet smell

Falling in love and not falling in love.

Oh, what love ever does to you?

He got you high and you don’t ever see it.

He got you smile but you just keep deny it.

He got you cry but you don’t really know it.

What has this strange word keeps making us do?

Keep searching for it but it was just right in front of you.

You keep it hide but you just wanted to feel it.

It has bitter taste but still smell sweet.

It lingers in our hearts for weeks.

You longed for it because you couldn’t help it.

How it plays with your heart,

And strayed away from your thoughts.

Oh love.

How I wish that sweet smell will never fades away.

20 nov 09

5.15 a.m

*i adore 500 days of summer. sweet and full of pain. love the songs.

simple updates

• hp saya rosak dan masih belum diperbaiki.

• rambut dah potong kat salon sima. dan dapatkan highlight. *ok,i noe i sound exaggerate but its my first time having a highlight. u cant blame me on that.

• yus akan blk 1 december nnt. ok dah,jgn tny lagi dah. sedih tau nk jawab.

• perlu ke lowyat untuk tukar earphone yg dah rosak.

• semakin gemuk dan perlu berdiet. any recepies on eating healthy?

• nak mantapkan skill driving tp sume cam busy jee......

• sedih+frustrated dengan sesetengah kawan yang menikam belakang saya. *kalo kamu tak boleh berlaku jujur,itu bukan masalah saya. tapi bila kamu tidak jujur,salah faham akan berlaku dan fitnah akan muncul. jadi,ya itu masalah saya.i've had enuff being a good girl here and you never realized it or appreciate it. so dun asked me to be friends with you again coz it will take a long time to heal this. saya pendendam,saya mengaku. tapi saya sangat susah untuk berdendam. sekian,terima kasih.

• nak beli sgt '6 suspects' by vikas swarup.

• nak cari movee 'rocky balboa' 1-4.

• tgh tggu azam untuk abeskan exam to give me gossip sirl season 3. heh.

• need to find something to do except blogging n facebooking.
  

shoes

since i've been craving into shoes nowadays,so i stumble into this stupid jokes about men and women about buying shoes.

*click for larger image
credit for cracked.com

i believe it was quite true for some point. sume pompuan camni ke?

pyschology personality quiz in facebook.

You love the crowd... a party animal! Too many “friends”, you can’t easily tell which among them is real and not...

You hide your emotions... Sometimes pretending to be always happy. Sometimes, not giving even a hint of what you really feel.

You love deeply... you may flirt along and people think you’re a playboy/playgirl but the truth is: your heart belongs to only one.

You appreciate simple things in life... You hate complicating things that’s why you’re typically up-front in any aspect.

You’re a stubborn sweetheart... You “love” him/her only because he/she loves you. If his/her flame puts out, you let go with no trouble.

You’re intimidating! People have an impression that you’re elite—or if not, you simply look sophisticated. You gain praises but not companions.

You love actions... with the hero-like taste! You focus on your strengths and use them to protect persons/things that are important to you.


*hey,it really hits me there.

aku dan dia

aku dan dia ada love hate relationship

kadang-kadang aku benci gile.

kadang-kadang aku sayang.
tp papehal pun,die selalu kat tepi aku.
tak pernah tinggalkan aku.
kalo aku stress,die yang aku cari dulu.
tapi kalo tyme2 dark macam masa aku gaduh dgn yus,
mmg habes la die aku kerjakan.
aku rasa kitorang rapat gile,macam isi dgn kuku.
sampai mak aku marah,asal aku selalu dgn die?
entahla mak.
pertama kali aku tgk die pun aku jatuh cinta.
pernah korang jatuh cinta pandang pertama?
indah kan?
dah lama kami bersama.
walau macam2 yg datang tok musnahkan hubungan aku dengan die,
kami still kukuh.

tapi semalam,buat pertama kalinya aku tinggalkan die.
aku rasa bersalah.
tapi nak wat camne.
die yg khianati aku dulu.
dia diam membisu.
kami tak buat connection macam selalu.
so aku pergi.
aku pergi bawak diri.
thanz for everything.

aku pasti,hubungan ni masih boleh diperbaiki.
aku yakin.

*nanti kalo aku ada duit aku repair ko kay?* T_T

pitch black

somehow,i got sick of everything. i felt sick with everything that i saw. i felt damn sick with everything that i read. with everything that i heard,everything that i touched. i don't even feel passionate about anything,anymore. its hard to dealt with my own inner self. i stop looking at everything positively. i start to feel gloomy and solemn and depressed and all of sudden everything feels like, how should i say this, feels like shit. its hard to face the reality when you know that your dreams are being crushed. everybody else seems fine. everybody else seems to moving on. i wanted to. i really do. but i cant feel my legs. and i cant see where am i heading to. its all pitch black. i cant even smile correctly without knowing my smile is crocked. i cant even laugh wholeheartedly when i know my heart is crying. this is sick. maybe i am tired. you know? maybe i had it enough already. I'm done. i felt like my hard work, my pain, my strength all been took away and i couldn't do anything about it. and there i was. just stood there, staring blankly without fighting back, coz i know,i never could have won this fight. shit. i should fight back,i think. i should have the strength and courage to fight back. but, not yet. this isn't the time yet. and when the time comes, I'll speak. I'll speak as loud as i can so you can hear me. so the world can hear me, notice me, realize that I'm right here. I'll get out. but for now, let me just sit here quietly. let me do this properly. let me face this with all the strength i have left. let me just be strong for myself, just for once, coz everyday i felt like i wanted to end this misery. this is depressing. and please, i don't need you for judgement. i don't need you for pointing out my wrong. i just need to find myself. and i wish i could do this. even though the world has turn his back on you, you still need to move on. and you need to be strong. aite?

these boots are made for walking... lalala

Argh! Just check the latest cleo n stunned by these smashing new booties. Cantiknya boots ni. Cantik sgt. Kalo ada duit ni mmg dah bli. Totally awesome. Funky, edgy but still feminine. Serious cute sgt.

Aku try bukak cleo.com tok amek gamba boots tu,but then cam hampa ckit ar. Coz web die not fully utilize and macam ntah pape pun de gak. Quite disappointed. Coz cleo is my favorite mag. Aku dulu de gak kumpul remaja,but then it gets boring. So boring that I yawned at every page. Haha. Neway,lets not get out of pint here.

Boots yang aku tgk semua cute n best. As I said before, funky, edgy but still feminine. And satu lagi yang aku minat. Sneaker heels. Look,even Leighton Meester wears it!

ske ske ske ske ske ske ske ske ske!!
probs is,harga die sgt mahal!!!
nk soh yus beli. *evil laugh*
these boots are made for walking... lalala~~~

bakal berehat

sekarang musim demam. bukan demam AF,coz we're so over it. skunk musim demam exam. untuk kawan-kawan,

selamat berjuang.

aku jaga bakal berehat berblog ni. nak focus. well,subjek aku bukanlah sesenang ABC eventho aku tau cam ramai pandang enteng. aiceh~ anyway,aku dah apply tok tukar coz. aku dah wat sume yang aku mampu untuk mencapai impian aku. aku tau,bukan senang nak berubah. bukan senang nak meninggalkan apa yang dah terjalin. sabar ye? kita bukan pergi jauh. satu uitm gak. ahaks. aku just nak share gamba2 yg fun tok aku amek n fun untuk aku tgk. hakhak

tip n aton bujet kembaq

gamba-gamba ini diambil ketika test c++. kami terlalu tak tau nk wat apa sampai terhasil la karya-karya agung seperti ini. tolong jangan tiru. more at here.

there's no other new updates from me. saya xde la pergi paris ke mana kan. so tak syok la nak cite pape. haha. ok. gud luck (again) untuk semua. i know,luck is really needed at times like this. especially when we were day-dreaming most of the time in classes,thinking

'what the fcuk??'.

have the courage to say no

Have the courage to say no is the most important thing. Having your friends stayed beside you is great, but the important thing is you. I know that you wanted to be good guy here. You wanted to help people in need but still, you need to look out for yourself too. Tolongla jangan terlampau obsess dengan kawan anda. Bukan maksudnya kamu tak boleh bertindak baik langsung,bukan bermaksud kamu jangan menolong langsung,tapi berpada-pada. I’ve got too many great friends who are willing to help me in times. Seriously, too many. Most of them willing to sacrifice their times, their money at some point to help me. I do appreciate their help so much, and I’ll do everything in return.

But limitation is important. Takyah la sampai bangun kol 4 pagi dan mengambil teksi semata-mata untuk menemani kawan anda yang ketakutan di stesen bus. Tu bukan membantu. Tu merosakkan diri. Lagi-lagi kalo dah ke berapa kali nye kamu berbuat begitu. Saya faham,kamu tu nak menolong,kamu kasihan, tapi kamu tak kasihan kan diri kamu? Kamu tu nak exam. Dahla jauh kolej kamu dgn hentian bus. tak kisah la kalo kawan kamu tu bayar balik duit kamu. tenaga kamu,masa kamu,bazirkan cam2 je. yang paling xley blah,ada ke die suruh kamu ponteng kelas untuk teman die?? WTF?? Kawan kamu pun satu. Kenapa begitu selfish? Kalo kamu dah tahu kamu takut di stesen bus sorang2 waktu tengah malam,yang begitu bahlul nak ambik bus waktu malam buat pe? Pe ke la bongok sangat diri kawan kamu tu? Dah la menyusahkan orang lain. Tak reti nak berdikari lak tu. Kalo dah gatal nak amek bus waktu malam,pandai jugak la balik sendiri. Ngada-ngada sangat!

Wahai kawan saya,tolong la jangan bagi muka sangat. Tolongla. Kamu tu kena tindas tau x? kamu tu kena guna pakai tau x? kalo semata2 alasan nak tolong kawan,baik jangan kawan je dengan die. Argh,aku plak yang emo. Aku seyez xske la kalo kawan aku kena men camni. Kalo pakcik teksi ni cas lebey pun aku dah panas,ni plak rumate ko yang OVER dan mengada2 sangat2. Weyh,suck gile. Aku xsangka de lagi kawan camni wujud. Siyez ko busuk gile perangai. Janganla wahai kawan saya,jangan tertipu dengan perangai busuk macam tu. Cakap tak nak ley x?

Ramai sangat kawan aku yang kena tindas camni. Ada yang kawan dah lama pun buat taik gak. Yang bitching kat belakang pun ada. Yang nak rampas balak pun ada. Weyh,panas siot. Aku cakap kat diorg,kadang,susah kalo kite nak nasihat minah2 camni. Tp ko la kena ubah. Ko jangan ikut cakap die. As I said before, have the courage to say no. jangan la rasa bersalah lak. Dah kalo permintaan macam siot,watpe nk ikut. Kalo dah emergency,tak pe la. Well,ko pun boleh beza kan antara emergency dengan plain gediks. Saja nak menyusahkan. Panas panas.

dalam dunia ni,tak semua yang kita boleh percaya. tak semua yang baik. tak semua yang macam kita. kena pandai la untuk kenal,mana intan,mana permata. kalo tak tahu,analisis. macam step dalam c++ tu. kalo dapat soalan,way analysis dulu. mana untuk output,mana untuk input dari user. macam biasa. janganla asyik nak output je. mintak input xmo. (sorry la. exam c++ dah dekat. kena aplikasi dalam kehidupan). jangan mudah percaya kan orang. nanti kamu ditindas. kamu yang kena bertindak. kamu yang kena berubah. bukan mereka. jadi,apa lagi. bertindak la. jangan jadi macam lembu yang dicucuk hidung,pergi ke mana tuanmu bawa. ok?

waiting

i'm waiting patiently for your email.
just a stupid,simple email.
it felt like thousand words in it.
so hard to reach me.
am i that far?
my patient is running out.
please dont test me.
coz i got soo many test coming.


and i'm still waiting.

fesbuk

i dun get it.
wat so great bout fesbuk?
a lot of my pren like it.
y?
i dun like it.
boring.
make me wan to yawn.
jas same as mespes and plenter.
u olredi noe ur pren.
u c them everiday.
why need all tis?
u can mesej them like owez.
y? y?
boling la kena jaga ini akoun.
bukak2,orang xkenal pun add juga.
last2,pren list manyak penuh olang i xkenal.
macam fester n mespes juga.
apa beza?
ada kuiz ka?

draft

aku draft kan "i feel vulnerable". somehow,on the second thought,it was kindda personal for me to say it out loud about how i feel. aku tak meminta simpati. aku hanya ingin meluahkan. dan,mungkin sedikit harapan yang dia akan membaca,walau aku tahu dia takkan membacanya. tapi,tu la. ever since aku start blogging,aku rasa yang aku banyak meluahkan sesuatu yang aku rasa tak patut. maybe i felt that i should expressed it anyway.

im much more of an introvert than extrovert. although in a test i took tells me differently. aku senang memberikan pendapat aku,memberikan pandangan aku tentang sesuatu perkara, tp mostly bila berbual,aku lebih kepada mendengar dari bercerita. aku mempunyai ramai kawan. tp aku tak tau siapa yang patut aku berkongsi. siapa yang patut aku bebankan dengan masalah aku. so,in the end,aku diam. mungkin aku juga lebih suka untuk membisu. mungkin aku lebih suka menanggung sendiri. mungkin.

i feel vulnerable..

One of the things that keep me up waking in a middle of the night is thinking,what am i supposed to do? i couldnt stop thinking bout it. a lot has happened lately,and one thing for sure,i know you are not here.

For many reasons in the world,i think you are the only person i could trust. You are the only person i could ever be honest with. I can share my lil secrets with you,i can share my toughts with you. And when you were first gone,i think i could handle it. i think i was strong enough to survive. I got my friends, i got your family behind my back,its just that i didnt sure i got my family behind mine. now you are gone,things were different. I have a hard time sleeping. I could find myself in a middle of the nights, just thinking about what to do, and not knowing who to share with is sure a pain in the ass. But i sure,i could handle it. right? I supposed to be strong.

And so many nights i find myself wanted to cry. i tried to stop it,but somehow it couldnt stop flowing. I found myself trying to keep it from falling apart,but it was so hard. I dont know what to do. Tears is the only way i could think of. My body felt numb. Am i weak?

Life is sure hard when you dont know what coming for you. And this morning,some one who i’ve known for many years now,telling me that i was hard to figure out,so as to say. Am i that mysterious for you? or the fact that i dont know how to spill my true feeling for my own friend makes them feels that way. I know that its not a big deal,but somehow it got me thinking about how i’ve acted lately. I was worse than ever. I blank at my classes,i didnt do my homework,i couldnt figure out what the hell that teachers was talking, and i really feel like im an idiot. I’m a mess. Or let me correct it. i’m a mess without you.

This few weeks,i’ve been thinking a lot. Not a bout how i should stop you from going away,but about my own future. My academic assistant told me that life about putting love in what you do,not doing something you love. How true could it be? Putting love in something i do is something i really should consider because right now,i dont know what the hell am i doing. I suck at class. I know that you think it isnt necessarily true but its what i think. I tried to find love so that i could put it somewhere it belong but guess what? It rans away when you were gone.

You know something? I always dreams that when i was a little,i wanted to do something that i love. Something that i have no regret whatsoever. I wanted to do something that is fun for me,even though it doesnt necessarily fun for others to see. I wanted to be involve in what i do,not just doing for the sake of getting an A. I imagine of having a smile while i was doing my work. Although it was tough,but hey,at least i enjoyed every single moment of it.

I am quite a confident girl. Not a lady yet i think. But mostly,a teen. And i would like to see my dreams come true. Nobody doesnt,does they? But somehow,having my confidence ripped off me kindda make me feel weak. And i hate being weak. I hate it so much that i pretend to be strong. But what i really need is you. i just need someone to hear my thoughts,someone i could share my feelings with. I really think that person is you.

gosh,so much happened i couldnt even spill it out. Things might be gets a lil awkward when you get back,but for now,please remember me in every steps of the way. Cause i do.

twitter

asal xramai main twitter huh?

sakitnye cinta ye??

Love? Love is totally many hurtful things wasnt it? Akhir-akhir ni ramai sangat kawan aku yang percintaan diorg putus tgh jalan. Sakit,memang sakit kan? Sakit sangat bile tengah malam kite terfikir sal dia, sakit bila kenangan die semua nya macam flashback kat dalam memori ni. Tp entahla. Bagi aku semua tu depends. Depends kat diri kita macam mana nak corakkan cinta kita. Everything depends kat diri sendiri. Aku tak la pro dalam berbicara soal hati dan perasaan ni,tapi kawan aku penah cakap yang aku good listener and good observer. Maybe aku senang tok luahkan perasaan dan pendapat aku pada orang len. Jadi,at the end,aku end up jadi tempat luahan hati. Aku serious tak kesah. Bagi aku yang pernah teringin tok mendalami ilmu pyscology ni,aku amek sume tu tok jadi ilmu. But one thing yang aku belajar dari kawan-kawan aku ni, that is

"love is to let go".

Seriously. Nampak macam simple,tapi impaknya sangat maksima. Kalo kau betulla cintakan seseorang itu,ko kena lepaskan die pergi. Cinta takkan jadi kalo hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan. Kalo itu yang die nak,dan kalo ko betul2 sayangkan dia,maka lepaskan die pergi. Most of my friends probs, they cant let go yet. Tak boleh nk lepas. Tak boleh nk lupa. Tak boleh nk hilang. Tak boleh. Tak boleh. Tak boleh. Thats it. Tu je ayat yg asyik diorg cakap. Susah la yan. Its hard. Tapi kenala usaha. Takkan xley sampai bila-bila. Takkan nk hidup dalam fantasi sampai ke tua? This is not a drama. This is reality. Live with it. Life never be nice to you. You just have to be strong. (sorry grammar cam siot.) Memang,memang aku cakap senang. Tapi kadang-kadang,korg yg mintak pendapat aku. Korang mengadu kat aku. Abes tu,xkan aku nk cakap, its ok dear. Sabar yek? No! Aku takkan cakap camtu. Kalo korunk rasa sedih,ok, menangis. Menangis sekuat hati. Selama mungkin. Menangisla,kalo itu dapat legakan hati ko. tp once ko dah berhenti menangis,jangan menangis lagi. Janji dgn aku. Tu je. Aku just nk janji. kalo ko xdapat nk get over her/him,ok. Fine. Chase her. Kejar die. Tackle hati die macam mane ko tackle die dulu. But once die tolak,ko kena berhenti. Be a true man/woman. Janji dgn aku. Tu je. bile ko dah janji,its one step towards changing. at least ko ada la gak nk brubah. ok la tu. janji ko ada niat.

Jangan hidup dalam kenangan. Sakit. Korunk xsakit ke? Berbulan-bulan makan hati,xsakit ke? Dia dah gembira,makan nasi,korunk makan hati. Aku geram kekadang kawan-kawan dan sahabat handai ni. Aku cakap,jangan. Tapi still degil nk jugak. Ikutkan sangat kata hati tu. Nape? Best sangat ke makan hati? Dia dah berubah. Yes,dulu dia sayang sangat kat ko. sayang gile bangang sampai nyamuk sentuh ko pun die xbagi. Tp tu dulu. Hati manusia kan boley berubah. Sabarla sayang. Terima hakikat ni.boleh?

Ye,aku tau,cakap memang senang. Sampai ada kata “ko xrasa lagi yan. Ce kalo ko clash dgn yus.” Ouch. Aku faham. Aku pun akan jadi mende yang sama kalo aku clash dgn yus. Aku tau susah. Tapi kena la cuba. Kalo dah 2,3 bulan meraung merana,buat pe? Kalo seminggu dua,ok tahan lagi. Sebulan,aku ley accept la. Ni dah berapa lama makan hati? Ko sendri ley kire kan? Aku cakap ni,coz aku concern. Aku sayang g kat kawan2 aku. Bila kawan aku makan hati,darah dari hati die tu terpalit la kat aku gak. Thats why aku mara sangat ni. kalo aku mara,tanda aku sayang. bile aku dah start ignore,sayang tu dah xde. Faham? lagipun,xkan aku nk biar ko makan hati 2,3 tahun kowt? Come on. Bangun. Wake up ok? Jgn terus tido. Xkan xley idup kowt? Ok kawan?

Kepada sesiapa yang terasa,harap maaf ujung kaki sampai ujung rambut. Xkan nk tunggu raya depan. Kena mintak maaf skunk gak. Hehe. Dan ini untuk umum ok. Xde specific tok spe2. Sekian aku membebel.

cooking.

i just having fun cooking my dad's dinner just now. to tell you the truth,i never saw abah cooks anywhere. but still,hari ni mak kat kampung. well,its too obvious she was having fun being there since she got so fed up with all the works at home. but abah gotta work today and yesterday,so i went home with him.

honestly,i was hopeless in cooking. seriously. aku ada lah anak yg paling bongsu kat umah ni,so aku quite lazy to do cooking stuff. sangat2 tak pandai. so,semalam,abah berbuka dengan hidangan dari kak nona. coz i went out with my frens from kmk. seb bek kak nona ada. today,i thought dad was gonna eat out,so i was relaxing in front of this damn comp that got me addicted. tbe2 lak abah kuarkan bawang and kacang pnjg from freezer. aik,xkan abah nk masak kowt? ah sudah. dengan xrela hati aku turun dan tolong abah. haha. dalam hati ngomel gak ah,npe la abah xmakan luar je... see,how lazy i am when i got back? but aku still help abah la.

its weird you see, when 2 hopelessly, clueeless people trying to cook. so funny. i tried recall how moms cook,but i dont think i can remember. (cz i was such a lazy butt!) but still,kitorg dapat gak buat daging masak black pepper kicap dgn sayur goreng. haha abah keeps saying "ape la rasa masakan adek ni..", and "mak mesti gelak kalo dapat tau ni.." eh abah,jangan la gtau mak. kompom mak cite kat makcik2 di kmpg sana. malu la saya.

so safwa,after all the hard work my dad and me put,i still find cooking isnt as interesting as u thought. i still prefer watching other people cook in their all-perfect kitchen,and their perfectly square-cutting-potatoes and dream of making the exact same kitchen one day. cooking is such a hard work. trust me,i know. but,i admit it, hasilnye mesti seronok. sebab memasak ni sama (lebey kurangla~) dgn men piano. haha now this is funny. mula,mmg kena belajar macam mana nak men piano. bile dah expert,kita dah boleh bermain sendiri,tanpa bantuan notes. kan? so,hows you guys experience in cooking?

bored.

aku terasa macam nk wat tagged. coz bosan kan. haha

THE BASICS

And your name is?
azyan azilah bt halimi

How many years are you?
19

Girl or Boy?
i'm a perfectly healthy teenage girl.

The height from your head to your feet?
xtau la. dah kire tp xingat.

What is your heritage?

my comic books.

Whats your zodiac sign?
aries,coz i was born in april 3rd.

Shoe size?
7. aku bukan kaki sampan.

Pants size?
29.

Where were you born?
atas katil

What hospital?
hbkl.

LOVE LIFE

Are you in a relationship?
of course.

Ever been dumped?
thats a very sensitive q.

Do you believe in true love?
ya

What is love?
if you love someone,u'll let him/her go.

Do you love anyone?
yes

Which of your exs are you still friends with?
i got only one ex,and he's still a friend of mine

Would you get back with any of your exs?
no.

Did your exs do drugs or drink?
not to both.

Who are you dating now? (If anyone)
muhammad fairus bin basril

How long have you been dating?
please check the next box ---->

LASTS

Who was your last kiss?
asadullah.

Who did you last hug?
dijah

Who did you last yell at?
kat nabilah. (this all happens when i'm at benta)

Who did you last tell I love you too?
him,of course.

Who was the last one to tell you they loved you?
him also. and that was a few days before.

What was the last thing you said?
"tlg belikan adek prepaid topup!"

When did you last take a shower?
not yet. heh~

Who did you last think about?
hurm,i cant recall.

REGULAR RANDOM QUESTIONS

What shirt are you wearing?
baju ijau. just for at home.

Are you listening to music?
no.

Do you like lead pencils or mechanical pencils?
lead i think. coz lagi sonok tok conteng.

Do you prefer desktop computers or laptops?
laptop. but i never had one. i'm using my sister's.

Do you think you could live without a cell phone?
no. hehe

Do you exercise?
sumtimes. aku skunk baru nk belajar berenang. nk kurus beb!

Are you street smart?
you could say that.

What is/was your favorite class in school?
pyschology,but i never had one.

What do you plan on doing in the next year?
belajar lagi la sayang.

Do you want to get married?
yes. fast. hahaha

Where do you want to be proposed?
anywhere,but he gotta think of something romantic.

Want kids? If so..How many?
yes. 4 kowt. just like my family.

Where would you like to raise a family??
i'm not sure yet.

Who do you love?
family,him,and friends.

How often are you on the computer?
i'm like addicted to it.

Have you mooned or flashed anyone?
no la~ crazy what?

What was your favorite camping experience?
too many. can't remmber lorh.

Do you laugh at just about anything?
yes and no. i was like,having the other side of me you know.

If you could have one super power, what would it be?

i can remember anything that i saw/read even in a split second. that way i could score.

FINISH IT
I want to:
have my own car.

I should be:

a girl that my mom proud of. but i dont.

I wonder:
why i'm not like other people?

Do you think:
people just dont know the real me.

Nobody knows that:
i not as good as they think.

selamat jugak

salam. well,sebab sume blog yg aku folow (almost all la),semua pun wat ucapan selamat hari raya kat blog diorg,so aku pun nk way gak ah. jadi,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA,MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.

kepada,sesiapa yg kenal diri aku ni,aku nk mintak maaf banyak2. well,mulut aku kan straight to the point ckit. dan thanz pada sesiapa yg bagi sms kat aku. aku maleh nk reply,so aku copy paste je blk ucapan aku. hehe

aku akan pulang hari ni,so sape2 yg nk jmpt aku ke rumah mereka,cakap tau. aku free je. dan dak2 smksp yg nk wat reunion tu,kite bncg blk ah cane. nk dtg umah aku pun ok. mak aku kat kmpg. aku la yg masak. kalo keracunan,aku mintak maaf awal2. nnt aku beli pil chit ke ti aun (aku xtau spellg die).

ada pape g? owh ya. kalo aku ada hutang tp lpe nk baya,bek korunk mintak cpt. sebab kalo dah pas raya,hutang kena potong half. haha

neway,aku dalam proses tgh cari umah sewa kat area shah alam. coz sem 2 nanti,kompom2 aku xley tinggal mawar dah. mesti kena kick nye. spe yg ada contact? kalo ley nk umah sebijik la. xmo share2. kalo de,sila bagi mesej kat aku yerk? xpun,coment je kat cni. t aku contact blk.

aku rasa tu je la kowt. oleh sebab sume pun letak gamba family diorg,maka aku pun nk letak gak.

dari kiri belakang : abg,de,angah,atam,bangcik.
dari kiri depan : mak,akak,wan,atok,me!,abah.

things that i wish i knew when i was 17...?

clearly,after reading some magenta point here,aku rasa macam dia btol2 dah wat aku tersentak. yes,what she said is right. aku skunk tgh tol2 dalam dilemma. yes,aku cakap terus-terang,aku mmg xsuka dengan apa yang aku belajar sekarang. i mean,its not like i hate it,but clearly i didnt love it,i just dont dislike. (sorry magenta,pinjam words kamu.) aku faham pe yang aku belajar dalam kelas,tapi camne aku nk cakap yerk. aku xrasa keseronokan tu.

aku faham,ada yang kata aku ni bodoh,tuhan dah bagi peluang tok belajar tu,belajar je la kan. some of my friends even said that maybe ni kehendak tuhan. tuhan lagi tau pe yang bagus untuk kita. but still,aku rasa cam xde,cam ne nak cakap huh,erm.. xde sparkle. korunk faham kan sparkle? ok aku bagi satu example la. macam masa korunk hangat bercinta,dan perasaan seronok tu banyak dah membuak,dan terasa macam ada bunga2 cinta (or whatever that you called it) kat setiap hari korunk. dan bile dah lama2 bercinta,korunk dah rasa jemu. dah rasa bosan. dah hilang sparkle tu. faham x?

macam tu la bila aku maksudkan dengan belajar tapi xde sparkle. learning is (or supposed to be) like falling in love itself. kena ada perasaan seronok tok belajar. kena ada perasaan excited tok memahami pe yg kite belajar. maybe kat sekolah dulu xla terasa nk macam ni kan,but supposed that aku dah kat u skunk,that aku sepatutnya mendalami pe yang aku minat coz kat u,kita belajar lebih terperinci tentang sesuatu perkara, rite? dan bila apa yang kita dapat tu xsehati sejiwa dengan apa yang kita minat,maka perasaan tu macam hilang la. belajar kerana terpaksa. and at the end, kita akan rasa nyesal, coz you’ve wasted most of your life doing something you hate (maaf magenta,pinjam lagi words kamu.)

the only thing that i hate in life is regret. aku xsuka berasa menyesal. aku akui,banyak perkara yang aku wat salah. tapi,aku xrasa menyesal. aku wat banyak sangat perkara jahat kat skool dulu,sampai semua dok basuh aku ramai2 dalam bulatan kat pangkor dulu. (still remember la weyh!) tapi,one thing is,aku xnyesal. yela,dulu kena la wat nyesal coz wt mende jahat kan? tapi aku rasa its one of my experience kat skool yang aku xkan lpe sampai bila2. ok,skunk aku rasa aku dah melalut dah ni. neway,aku xnk nanti aku akan menyesal. nyesal napa aku xikut kata hati. nyesal napa aku xcuba kejar cita2 aku sendiri. that's my whole point here. aku nak pastikan yang idup aku xpenuh dengan penyesalan. biarlah apa pun yang orang kata,janji aku puas. aku nak belajar sesuatu yang buat aku rasa,bestnye. even its just a simple stuff,janji aku puas. sound simple,but possible ke? mesti ada gak sumthing yang xkena dan xbetol kan?

either way,aku still lagi confius dengan sume ni. n of coz,my mom xkesah dengan pe je keputusan aku. asalkan,aku belajar. entahla. aku cukup pening. ada gak kawan aku yang mengalami dilemma yg sama. hurm. pening pening.

nothing much

blergh!

blergh!

blergh!

aku sangat bosan.

yup. dan juga lapar.

neway,ptg kang nk g mkn steamboat dgn clazmate.

dah 4 hari berturut-turut aku mkn luar ni.

dus!

makin susutla duit aku.

thanz kawan-kawan.

zero

aku rasa xde mood tok taip apa2. xde mood tok share anything. nada. xtau npe,tp aku rasa sume pun rasa cam2. member2 aku ramai dah xupdate pape. maybe bulan posa tahun ni mmg xmenarik sampai sume pun rasa mende yang sama? aku pun xtau. rasa empty. padahal bulan ni kan banyak pahala dan amalan yang patut kita buat.

teruknye rasa camni.




*p/s: susahla kalo hari-hari camni. luar cam happy,dalam? haaih~~

there he goes

if you love someone,
pain is never be the reason to let go.

*1sept09.1105am

I Love thee, I love but thee.
With a love that shall not die.
Till the sun grows cold, and the stars grow old.
~Bayard Taylor

the news

the news strike and hit me hard.

i could only smile.

what else should i say,

to comfort my lil and tiny heart?

i knew this will come.

sooner or later.

aku kena kuat kan?

kena teruskan hidup.

kuat la yan!

pelik kan wanita ni?

dalam senyuman masih ada tangisan.

dalam ketawa masih ada air mata.

betapa banyak aku merayu,

dia tetap akan pergi.

ini hakikat.

aku kena terima.

the pain is too painful.

so strong that i almost cant bear.

kuat la yan!

kuat!

kan?

why i love bulan puasa

obviously,because of the food!! haha. no,just joking guys. food is just a part of the reason why i love ramadhan. there's do many other things but i just wanna focus on food first. spe2 yang xtahan, bek blah awal2. xpun korunk baca post aku mlm nnt ke. ingat,aku dah warning awal2 ni. hehe


yang paling aku ske skali ialah kueh cara. pergh,kesedapan nye mmg buat aku ngigau malam2. aku sangat ske kueh cara ni. aku xtau npe. kalo dulu,aku xtau pe nama kueh ni. aku asyik tunjuk2 kat mak, "mak,nk kueh tu.. nk kueh tu!" sambil tunjuk2. mak aku pun konpius,kueh mana satu ni.. last2,baru aku tau kueh apakah itu. neway,aku rasa npe aku ske kueh cara tu coz bile aku gigit je kueh tu,mesti tumpah2 air gula die. nmpk cam menarik je. gpun,makin aku besar, aku makan skali ngap je kueh cara ni. lagi layan. tak membazir.


second,aku ske popia basah. kat pasa malam umah aku mmg ada satu tmpt tu yg aku cukup ske beli popia die. layan gile. start dari tu,ak mle timbul minat tok bli popia. yang aku tau,de satu popia basah yg siyez layan gile kat wangsa melawati. tp aku xpenah try g la. xde transport. de spe2 nk tumpangkan aku g sne?


pastu,aku ske gak kat ayam percik. spe2 yg xske ke? kesedapan ayam percik ni bukan terletak kat ayam die yg dipanggang samapai hitam,bukan terletak kat besar atau x ayam tu, tp terletak pada kesedapan kuah tersebut. kalo pandai org tu buat kuah die,mmg laris la ayam percik ko. mostly,tyme pegi bazar ramdhan,aku mst tercari2 ayam percik. pergh,layan gile. xkire makan macam 2 je ke or makan dgn nasi ke.. mmg layan.


ada satu benda yang aku rasa macam xkne kalo aku tak tulis kat sini. murtabak. xlengkap rasanya aku cite sal makanan kat bazar kalo aku xcite sal murtabak. murtabak mmg popular. kenyang dan lazat. seswai tok dimakan beramai2, berebut2 dgn abg sendri tok amek the last piece of murtabak. every puasa family aku akan bli murtabak. konon tok alas perut b4 makan nasi. padahal mkn murtabak je rasa cam dah knyg dah. mane x nye,skali bli,2 3 murtabak. mne xpenuh.



abah n mak aku cukup ske makan tepung pelita. aku pun xtau npe. aku xla ske mana tepung pelita ni. ntah mana sedapnye. tp bantai je la yek? org dah bli. abah aku cukup xske kalo aku mkn tepung pelita ni. coz aku mesti mkn part atas je, yg wane putih tu. santan kan? yg tu je aku ske. yg pandan kat bwh tu aku xske. haha


pe lagi? ha,kalo asik mkn je,mst tercekik kan? so,air yg ley-kurang-wajib la dlm family aku adalah air soya. abah aku dlu keje kat nestle,so every puasa je mst ada air soya free. best gile. haha kdg2 bapak aku bwk blk berkotak2,tok bukak posa je. best kan? igt x, dlu ada yeos campur la,mende2 ntah. xsedap langsung. bagi aku,kalo nk minum air soya, kne la minum air soya yg pure. xyah campur2 dgn mende asing ni. baru la layan~ haha


so,aku rasa spe2 yg baca post aku kali ni mesti dah telan air liur buat kebrape kali nye. saba2. jap g dah bukak posa dah. kalo xtahan,jgn tgk. baca mlm kang. haha.

netomania

What is netomania or as we called it, internet addiction disorder? It is a maladaptive pattern of Internet use, leading to clinically significant impairment or distress. Internet addiction disorder (IAD), or more broadly Internet overuse, problematic computer use or pathological computer use is excessive computer use that interferes with daily life.

Early in 1995, New York psychiatrist Ivan Goldberg, MD, announced the appearance of a new addiction: people abandoning their family obligations to sit gazing into their computer monitor as they surfed the Internet. Ivan Goldberg took pathological gambling as diagnosed by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) as his model for the description of IAD. However, IAD receives coverage in the press, and its classification as a psychological disorder is being debated and researched.

Online activities would normally be considered troublesome, such as compulsive gambling or shopping, are sometimes called net compulsions. Others, such as reading or playing computer games, are troubling only to the extent that these activities interfere with normal life. Supporters of disorder classification often divide IAD into subtypes by activity, such as excessive viewing of pornography overwhelming and excessive gaming, inappropriate involvement in online social networking sites or blogging, and Internet shopping addiction. For many patients, overuse or inappropriate use of the Internet is merely a manifestation of their depression, anxiety, impulse control disorders, or pathological gambling. The Internet is largely a pro-social, interactive, and information-driven medium, while gambling is seen as a single, anti-social behavior that has very little social redeeming value. So-called Internet addicts do not suffer from the same damage to health and relationships that are common to established addictions.

Based on here, 17% of youth addicted to internet. China Communist Youth League (CCYL) research subsidiary China Youth & Children Research Center (CYCRC) released a report on January 10 on Chinese youth. According to the report, 17.1 percent of Chinese citizens between the ages 13 and 17 are addicted to the Internet. In the other hand, one Beijing judge, Shan Xiuyun, claimed that 85 percent of juvenile crime in the city was Internet-related. This proves that Internet addiction is nothing more than brings us harm and danger.

Where is our manners?

I’ve been thinking bout this for quite some time now. Well,this happens to most of us, don’t u think? Now,most people have lost their manners. Come on la guys, susah ke tok cakap pls or even a simple thanz to other people? Entahla.. makin hari makin susah tok aku dgr these words. Sometimes,I intended to help but the act stop there when they kindda forgotten to say please or thanz. Terus, dari nk tlg, terus xjadi tlg, or terus xikhlas nk tlg. Yela,kekdg kite cam terlupa kan nk ckp please or tolong.. I get it. I’ve been through the situation for some times now. Selalunye kalo kite dgn kekawan kite yg dah rapat tu pun kkdg cam lpe nk ckp kan? Cam suruh je (macam ok?) padahal kite xsedar yg die terasa. Tp try to talk nicely, no matter how rush or how busy you are. Kite kan org melayu,penuh adat dan sopan. Xkesahla betapa moden nye kite, betapa rockersnye, xkan sampai lpe budi bahasa? Xkanla.. no offense kay pada sesapa yg terasa. But yeah, this kind of thing kekdg cam dah dilpe kan. Org dah tak amek kesah sal ni semua. Tp bg aku, walau mcm mana pun kite, budi bahasa tu kne jaga. Aku selalu marah anak buah aku (coz aku xde adek).. If u wanted to ask for sum1’s help,then asked properly. Dont be rude. Kalo kite bek pun, dpt bantuan yg ikhlas. Xde nk mara2. As if “kalo xmo tlg,bek xyah tlg kalo xikhlas”.. xde ckp2 belakang. Ko happy,aku pun happy. Kan? But then susah sgt org skunk nk tny/mintak tlg bek2. Ha, the word “minta tolong” tu pun kite dah ley terjemah dah. Nk meminta sedikit pertolongan. Kalo dah minta, de ke org nk bg kalo minta kasar2? Xde kan.. xde la nk mencarut2 mengamuk2+xpuas hati nnt.. simple je sume ni. Dun make a mountain out of a molehill. Terjemahan die, jgn besarkan perkara kecik bai.. kalo bek,aku bek. Simple.


Notakaki : aku plg xske kalo2 aku senyum kat tgh2 jln kat stranger, die xsenyum blk. Bujet gile ko. Bujet hot ke dowh. Cam pantang je rasa. Duh!

too much

well,sometimes life is asking too much for us to bear.

u gotta be tough,and prepare.

but i just don't.

i dont ever want to let go,

i dont ever want feel the pain.

it was suffocating. harder to breath.

and i cant bear the truth.

nothing special

4 names that friends call you:

• yan
• ila
• yan
• yan
  

4 things you've done in the last 30 minutes:

• pegi pasa malam
• menangis
• makan tau fu fa
• gayut hp
  

4 gifts you would like to receive:

• sony w980i
• mini cooper
• ipod
• tons of comic book
  

4 of your favourite hobbies:

• baca komik
• dengar music
• blogging
• tengok tv
  

4 places you want to go for vacation:

• sailing to the middle of the sea
• pulau redang
• swiss
• backpacking around europe
  

4 things always found in your bag:

• hp
• dompet
• sampah gula-gula
• pen
  

Top 4 you love so much:

• noraihan
• halimi
• fairus
• fairus
  

Top 4 things 'special' for you:

• our memories
• gifts from him
• sweet sms
• my comic book collection
  

Top 4 who you would like to answer this survey:

• nobody.
  

hidung pink,berair-air,dan juga batuk.

semua dah kne jangkit. semua kne kuarantin. semua cuti. tp syi-al,fac aku kne stay tok program mende2 ntah.. and it wasnt even that important.. tak tau la kalo2 die xsedar yg h1n1 ni cpt merebak.. xtaula kowt diorg xtau yg h1n1 ni merebak ikut udara,yakni yang kite sedut setiap saat ni. i know i'm exaggerates,but still i wanna go home!!

dah ramai yg suspect h1n1. heck,aku rasa satu malaysia dah merebak. why? people are too lazy to check whether they are infected or not. their ignorance kills other people. yes,its just a simple diasease. batuk2 je. demam ckit je. tp kalo dah panas nak mampos badan tu, dan still degil tok ke klinik tok cek, atas alasan maleh nanti kne kuarantine. dah la batuk xmo tutup mulut. what? ingat kitorg ni kebal sangat ke immunisasi sampai virus tu xkan masuk dlm badan? memang,kami yg patut tutup mulut kalo xmo kne infect. tp pikirla ckit. kenala consider orang len gak. adus. sometimes its hard to dealt with them. the wiser people are,the harder for them to admits their mistake. rite?

but for now,aku just kne bertahan. berada disini,hari-hari aku semakin indah. semakin berseri-seri,dengan spotlight kat blakang, rama-rama kuar, dan bunga-bunga berkembang indah, siap de background music g. ahaks! kalo spe2 yg xfaham tu,xpe la. biarkan je aku dengan dunia ku. kamu jangan gundah gulana. kadang kala,aku senang juga sendiri. maaf ya? jadi, aku mengira detik untuk pulang,kerna kerinduan pada rumah dan koleksi kesayanganku membuak-buak. owh cinta!

wonder

sometimes i wonder,what's so great about being other people?

fatness

gemuk gemuk gemuk.

sume asyik kata aku gemuk.

bontot awak besar la,

lemak merata2.

''eeii..gemuk la awak ni''

biarlah.

aku mmg curvy.

bukan aku xmau kurus,bukan aku xmau cantik.

dah mmg gemuk.

aku sedar,uitm byk kemudahan.

nk kurus?

senang je.

tp nantila awak.

saya malas la..

nak gemuk mcm ni.

ley?

my first week in uitm

my first week at uitm. how would i describe it? it was fun,as some of my old friends was here too. i do enjoy their company. and new friends too. as i was saying before,there were thousands of stairs to climb,almost every single seconds. but its okey. i'm going to adapt to it soon. don't mind bout my babbling here.

being here its like opening my eyes to a whole new world. i know it sound cliche and cheesy and all that, but yes,that's what i felt. i learn to experience a whole new meaning of friendship. i learn that some things are meant to be. i may doesnt like being here, may felt that i should deserve another chance of being in other fac,which what i really wanted at first. i learn that you shouldnt look down on someone/something which you dont even really know about. we are all the same. learning new things is fine. nothing wrong with that. but peoples' mind set are some times hard to change. we could just accept it, and just be true to ourselves.

as time ticking,everythings will change. i hope within time, no one else will be hurt by my acts nor words. i'm nobody,i know. but i really hope that i will be someone who made my family proud. please god. keep my feet on the ground. thank you.

p/s : this is an assignment for me to complete. i need to create a blog (which i did way back then) and make an essay for my first week in uitm. no idea at all. sorry madam. it may sound a lil unformal,but thats the best that i can think, right now. anyway, i still couldnt explain to you guys bout my fac n my subject yet. wait till i get the pic even more clearer. kay?

random question

what would you do if you were having a nightmare, two nights in a row,
finding yourself waking up around 4.55 am with sweats all over your body?

p/s : ting tong! kepada sesiapa yang terjumpa lemak-lemak bertempiaran sepanjang jalan di uitm,tolong pulangkan kepada azyan,blok mawar,uitm shah alam ya? time kacih.

mawar,perindu dan tangga

owh yes. and i just fin my MMS week (minggu mesra siswa) last saturday. and it really tiring as there were thousands of stairs to climb almost every seconds. it wasnt that hard living here,in fact tis is the most laidback orientation week that i've ever joint b4. but still,yg buat die penat sgt2 is the stairs. sgt2 byk. xley ke kurangkan ckit? oh god. mmg aku kalo xkurus xtau la. uitm ni sgt byk bukit. dan berita gembira nya,aku tinggal di tingkat 4. sangat2 menjengkelkan. siyezly.

minutes away

hye people. now i'm minutes away from entering new world. haha~ cheesy. not much to say as this week i keep bumping my ass at trah's bike. adoiyai. very itchy when you were sitting on bike for quite a time. lagi2 vibrate time ada belang2 kuning yg tebal atas jalan (*note,jalan ni de kat depan smksp). dah la gatal,xley nak garu lak tu. cit. have to setel everything by myself now. sedey gak coz tyme medical check up kne g sesorg,as everyone else was accompanied by someone. xpela. dah besar kan? ahaks!

wat else wat else? oh yes. went to the movies today. to watch TRANSFORMERS! wit kak nona. she got free tickets,thanz to her biggest bro. hehe before that,pegi jmp yus dulu. xsempat jumpe lme2. sedih gak la. hope he's doing fine. owh,gonna miss him so much after this. i really do.

kak nona and me

the free movie passes

next,to klcc. siyezly,this is one of the movies yg buat aku xdok diam,asyik nk berdebar je. very awesome! action-packed from beginning. great storyline,marvelous cgi and of course handsome shia le beouf. ske kat die since even steven g. hehe.this movie is way batter than terminator 4, which is for me too cliche and boring. aku siap nguap g tyme tgk terminator. and christian bale doesnt attract me. so,senang kire,g ah tgk transformer. haha

enuff wit the movie review. neway,something happens at the cinema that makes me wanna start an angry mob. anyway,it already started. ada ke patut,tgh2 climax cite, ley lak movie tu stop and lights are on. sume mcm 'eehh..ape ni??!!' ok,maybe tecnical difficulty. its ok la. but then the movie started back at nowhere. tau2 je dah abes. aku igt g, tyme tu optimus ngah nk tarik pale si fallen,kalo xsilap. pastu,ley plak yg tukang jaga wat mke innocent,dgn tak explen nye kat kitorg, and suddenly pintu dah bukak. mcm nk halau je. asem tol. kak nona pun panas la. me too actually. bazir la tiket tu,eventhough technically kitorg pay nothing. tembak nye tembak en. afiq (yg jaga wayang tyme tu) tersebut, kami pun blah.

the angry mob

oleh kerna kak nona ngidam cawan transformers,kami pun patah balik ke tgv. tau2 je,kat sne dah ada sort of angry mob yg nakkan perjelasan dr diorg. yala,we pay for a good movie,and this is wat we get? cam xpuas ati la. then the manager call sume yg xpuas ati td. i was happy at first. igtkan dapat la tgk blk scene yg xdpt tgk tu. tau2 je,manager die mara2. die cakap die xmara,but then the way he's talking and yelling mcm kitorg lak yg salah. the a guy from singapore asked him,asal lak nk mara kitorg ni?? fights n fights happens. aku xde la mara sgt senonye,just dissatisfy. but the way manager handle this stuff,is soo unprofessional. anyway anyhow, customer always rite. so senyum je la. npe nk kne mara2. we don't want to know what's your problem,we just want to see the scene we missed. tu je. tp die mcm xfaham2. marah staff die. what for? aiyoyo.

the golden ticket.

after fighting and angry noises here and there,we finally get money back. now that's what i call a money back guarantee. ahaks. oleh kerna kami pakai free passes,xdpt la duit blk. tp dpt staff free passes. cam2 la lebey kurang. boleyla encik. so,ada movie yg ley tgk lagi ni. de spe2 nk ikut?