kunang-kunang

malam ni aku sgt emo..
emosional,dalam kata skemanya.. aku xtau npe aku rasa camni.. maybe sebab aku salah faham ckit dgn die, or maybe sebab aku lapa n burger xjual mlm ni.. ntah la.. tp yg aku tau,aku pg clas kimia dgn hati yg sebal..

ape yg korunk buat kalo korunk xde mood?

aku xtau la bagi korunk,tp bg aku,aku ske pencilkan diri aku dgn pasang mp3 kat hp, sumbat dlm telinga, pasang kuat2.. n mostly lagu kat dlm hp aku tu aku hafal,so rs cam bez ckit ar.. haha..

satu g yg aku ske buat tyme aku stress,depressed,tertekan, aku akan dok kat satu tmpt yg agak terpencil but aku still g ley tgk org ramai n environment.. buat aku rasa tenang.. especially at nights.. aku ske tgk org lalu lalang, analisis org.. buat aku berfikir, padahal aku xpikir pape pun senonye.. just pandangan kosong.. tenung saje2.. tgk langit.. tgk pokok, tgk rumput, tgk air..

and yes, tu yg aku wat pada mlm ini.. aku perlukan something tok wat aku rasa tenang.. n songs that keep on playing on my mind is ‘the times – imaginary’.. aku xhafal sgt, coz aku xbrape nk dpt tangkap pe yg singer tu ckp, but sound die buat aku tenang.. dunno why.. maybe coz this song reminds me bout him..

puas aku tgk org, tgk langit, tgk pokok, aku pun pulang.. xla jauh sgt perjalanan dr clas ke bilik, tp cukup jauhla tok wat berpeluh kalo jalan tgh panas.. on da way balik, aku nmpk mende berkelip2.. bukan yg dlm ‘histeria’, tp dlm iklan petronas.. aku nmpk kunang-kunang.. owh,sgt sweet~~ dlm hati aku pikir, bez gak layan jiwang.. dpt aku tgk kunang2.. pastu, perasan agaknye kunun aku ni dlm iklan,aku pun kejar la kunang2 tu.. dalam hati, aicececece~~ bapak ngada2.. haha and guess what?

AKU TERJATUH DLM LUMPUR.

haha nice one azyan! way to go! not that aku jatuh smpi baju aku sume kne lumpur, tp cukupla kalo aku kata suar aku koto gak la.. dah la suar aku ala2 dak hoppers.. haha nice.. so much into ur stupid imagination. to make it worst,it was a jeans.. so aku terkedek2 la pg masjid (so glad it was just a step away!), dgn kaki yg berlumpur tu.. dlm hati, mmg puas ar gelakkan diri sendiri.. haha klakar la aku mlm ni.. so aku pun blk la ke bilik, dgn hati yg malu sendiri.. hahahaha~~

moral of the story : jgn nk layan jiwang terlebey.. back to earth please!!

i'm sorry

to abg ipan:

i'm so sorry i didnt do my job,orwhat i've been asked to do.. it's just i'm not quite free rite now, and im didnt know what to do.. the exam is getting nearer, and the way i do release my stress is by this blog.. but still,i didnt do anything bout the work that you gave me. and sadly,i didnt know how to tell you that. i'm just so sorry..

p/s : cuti nnt yan buat kay? dah xlme dah ni.. maaf ye?

terkesima..

haha~
cam gempak je post kali ni..
xde ah..
aku sje je nk gtau yg aku terkejut gak ah coz ramai g kawan2 aku yg berblog ni..
kalo nadea,safwa,mayam,hazy.. tu dak2 otai.. maksudnye dah lme la berblog..
yg ni aku baru jumpa azam,nanaji (by da way, hapy belated bday to you!), intan shaffinaz, ainurin.. o0o0o0o cam agak ramai la disitu.. nasib bek azam add aku.. baru aku dpt link.. hehe

neway,aku dapat rasa yg blog ni lagi best.. bukan la sebab skunk tgh demam blog,aku rasa demam blog cam dah lme, its just that i'm soooo ooovvveerr myspace n friendster.. sooo boorreeeddd! hehe on ething yg aku pasan,kalo myspace,setakat hias2 page, then tell roughly bout you.. tak melambangkan kamu langsung.. pastu letak gamba.. and people can add you.. the more friend you got, the more popular you are.. rite? ssoooooo untrue.. mostly kawan aku kat dlm myspace tu aku xkenal pun.. men add je.. dah org nk add kite kan? approve je la.. hurmm... cam tipu je sume tu.. haha

kalo kite blog,even page kita xlawa, even xde gamba, tp kita ley kenal seseorg tu dgn cara penulisan die.. cara die mengekpressikan diri die.. so aku rasa,dgn baca blog, aku lebey kenal korang camne.. lebey rapat.. gpun,tok org yg kaki blog, sume mende yg jadi kat die, die nk dokumentasikan rite? so,dgn tu aku lagi kenal la korunk ni camne.. gpun,even aku xdapat nk msj,coz kurangnye elaun, (hehe) aku still dpt tau idup korunk.. ok la tu kan?

so,kesimpulannye, MARILA BERBLOG RAMAI-RAMAI~~
haha

neway,kawan2,letakla chatbox kat tepi page korunk.. barula syok~~

katy perry~ ^^

Comparisons are easily done
once you've had a taste of perfection
like an apple hanging from a tree
I pick the ripest one i still got the seed

you said move on where do i go
I guess second best is all i will know

cause when im with him i am thinking of you,
thinking of you
what you would do if
you were the one who was spending the night
oh i wish that i was looking into your eye

you're like an indian summer in the middle of winter
like a hard candy with a surprise center
how do i get better once ive had the best
you said there's tons of fish in the waters
so the waters i will test

he kissed my lips i taste your mouth
he pulled me in, i was disgusted with myself

cause when im with him i am thinking of you, thinking of you
what you would do if
you were the one who was spending the night
oh i wish that i was looking into your eyes

youre the best and yes i do regret
how could i let myself let you go
and now, now the lessons learned
i touched and i was burned
oh i think you should know

cause when im with him i am thinking of you, thinking of you
what you would do if
you were the one who was spending the night
oh i wish that i was looking into your eye

looking into your eyes
looking into your eyes
wont you walk through and
bust down the door and take me away no more mistakes
cause in your eyes i'd like to stay


really awesome..
even the video clip was nice..
i do love kyle xy!
hehe

crying as a way out??

I do hate people cry.

not in a way that cry is illegal in my life.. I do cry.. I’m still a human, and particularly a girl.. it just that I hate people who are CONSTANTLY cry for some silly reason.

call me evil, call me cruel, but I do have no mercy on people who are crying on some stupid, simple thing. aku nek bosan. or I shall say, annoyed. real annoyed. bayangkan,kalo dah dlm seminggu, 3 kali nangis. over some silly thing. mostly about her boyfriend. aarrgghh!! daripada aku kesian, terus jadi menyampah..

I know women do use tears for a way out of problem. some people do find it comforting. they cry when in trouble, cry when they r sad, and even why they are happy. biologically, when we cry, a some kind of hormone are released (not sure what kind of hormone, I think its endocrine, but I’ll check) and makes us feel relieved.. aku tau sume tu,tp aku still xley tgk org nangis.. over some silly reason of course.. menunjukkan yang die masih xmatang.. crying doesn’t solve anything. do something. world doesn’t evolve around u kay?? just grow up! arrgghh!!

imagine going to her room to find her, well almost everytime, crying. mula2 mmg la aku rasa kesian.. she’s still a friend of mine and of course I love her, as a friend. but then, kalo kita nasihat pun mcm msk telinga kiri kuar telinga kanan je,wat pe? niat nk bergumbira, tgk die nangis, terus xde mood. sampaikan aku rasa ilang selera aku. tu dah kira hebat dah tu.. aku jarang xpegi makan. hehe. ok, back to her. die nangis sampai aku tensen.. hebat hebat.

mungkin ada yg rasa jengkel gle dgn perangai n kenyataan aku ni,tp aku nk wat camne.. aku dah mmg camni.. aku pun nangis gak, tp kalo aku nangis, aku akan make sure yg aku sorang2, coz aku xske ble ada org datang kat aku n hug me n say ‘r u alrite?’ aku terharu, yes, mmg tu yg sepatutnya org perlukan tyme seedy kan? tp ntahla, mende tu wat aku rasa cam aku lemah je.. cam aku vunerable sgt.. n I hate feeling that. ntahla.. kalo org yg tol2 rapat dgn aku, aku cam ok g kan.. tp kalo org yg xrapat dgn aku, aku xbrape selesa.. ntah.. aku mmg camni..aku pun xfaham.. thats y aku xske nangs depan org.. weird isn’t? aku rasa aku mmg pelik.

amek telan simpan

ever heard of ‘pilih kasih’??

ni,aku nk jadi joyah jap.. tesen tol dgn perangai lecturer yang sangat2 pilih kasih.. pegi je mana2, mesti ada nye sama ada cikgu ke,lecturer ke, boss ke.. sama je sume.. tp kalo dlm konteks parents, sometimes mmg ada gak macam pilih kasih.. tp kita xtau la kan..

hurm,aku rasa2 la kan,ble aku dah berada jauh ckit dari umah ni,rasa la mcm sume dah matang,dah dewasa.. walaupun mcm dak2 gle2,tu ley tahan g.. tp bile lecturer yg perangai cam dak2,ni mmg tol2 wat aku nyampah.. aku cukup anti dgn diskriminasi tak tentu pasal ni.. maybe kita xcukup lawa, xcukup cantik,xcukup bijak, tp xbermakna kita patut disisih kan, rite? walaupun aku xkne, tp dgr cite kawan aku wat aku cukup sakit ati..


why oh why my lovely lecturer,why u did this? kenapa perlu diskriminasi?? aku cukup2 xfaham.. perlu ke peng’diskriminasi’an? perlu ke memberikan layanan yang berbeza? apakah motifnya? ni la kdg2 sbb tensen study.. kalo kat overseas, org kata ‘peer pressure’’. pressure yg wujud dari kawan2.. kalo dari lecturer lak nk cakap cam ne nih? ye,kami tahu kami xpandai sgt.. kenapa perlu berkata2 kasar dgn kami, enggan melayan persoalan kami, dgn alasan kami xreti berbahasa bi? (dlm conteks ni,teacher bi la..) perlu ke menjauhkan diri dari kami? kami ni bw virus ke? can stupidity effect u in any other way? if it could, I wish u were infected, so that u don’t have to teach us again, n we’ll get new teacher.. yay! hahaha

ok,ni tyme nk ngumpat org kay? first skali aku nk mntx maaf kalo2 ada yg terasa.. haha

lagi satu perangai cikgu2/lecturer2 yg aku cukup2 xske.. aku rasa korunk mesti pernah laluinya.. haha~ kes2 ni majority nya berlaku kepada student perempuan, di mana lecturer pompuan yg masih bujang terlalu memihak kepada pelajar lelaki, memberi ruang kpd mereka, bergurau senda, MEMILIH KASIH dan sebagainya.. jarang skali perkara ni terjadi kepada guru2 yang sudah berumah tangga,maka aku officially nk bg nama virus ni ‘virus ADT’.. pe maksud ADT tu? lu pikirla sendri.. aku rasa cam korunk ley agk je.. hahaha~~~

tp siyezly perkara ni slalu terjadi kpd plajar pompuan.. diskriminasi gender. dgn student laki kemain lagi die.. merenyam~~ bergurau senda, tertawa manja, melunakkan suara.. amboi.. xsedar ke awk tu lecturer.. yang dak laki nye pun turut melayan.. dah kalo lecturer mengada2 ke,diorg layan je kan?? kang dpt la mkn free ke,p eke.. laki mana tolak kan?? yang jadi mangsa,student pompuan.. geramnya aku!! kalo plajar pompuan,kasar je bunyi nye.. ye,tau nafsu awk kat lelaki, but could u treat us nicely?? oh god.. aku rasa sgt2 xpuas ati ni! aku rasa lecturer2 ni mmg kne kawen cpt2 la.. yg peliknye,ble dah kawen,ok plak… mmg tol2 virus ADT tol la.. tensen2..

ape la kita nk wat?? kita ni student je.. diorg tu kecturer. kne hormat. kne patuh. kne saying. kalo merajuk,kne pujuk. (owh,suck!). aku benci pujuk memujuk. benci. u are an adult. don’t be like that. deal with prob, even if we are ur prob. kdg2 mmg la salah student,tp kalo dlm sebulan tu sampai 5 kali merajuk,tensen2 x cam2.. nak pegi merayu2, bermuka manis.. kitorg de byk g keje selain nk pujuk2 sal mende remeh2 camni.. tapi wat camne,kami ni anak ikan. kamu tu ikan jerung. kami ni student bodoh,bukan spe2. redha je la.. amek,simpan,telan.

life is suck,isn’t ?
what a fair world we live in.

slumdog millionaire

ever heard of it?

aku skunk kne wat assignment sal mende alah ni.
find an issue that u found in that movie n write an article bout it..


adeh2..
dah dekat nk pspm ni la byk assignment ntah pape muncul..

aku dah tgk dah cite tu..

mmg bez la..
no wonder they won so many oscar awards..


aku igt nk wat sal child prostitution..
tp cam heavy je..

cam ne ni?
hurmmmmmmmmmmm......

aarrgghh!!

aku ske nagase tomoya..
die sgt cute!!!!

aarrgghh!!

pagi

now is 4.05 am in the morning.
still cant sleep.
I noe y
membahan 2 cawan Nescafe suam n sedap.
huh!
padan mke ko..
esok de trip.
kol 7.30 dh kne siap..

adeh~
aku ni nak soh siap awl??
silap org btol..

haha~
aku mmg kaki tdo,sorry.
slalu nk ubah habit ni..
tp,tdo tu kan nikmat.
kne nikmati sgt2..
haha~

sem ni dah nak abes.
bulan 4 kami bebas.
hurm.

aku xtau nk definisikan perasaan ni cane.
happy?
agak la,coz aku dpt bebas dr tekanan ni.
sedey?
sgt la,coz xjmp dgn dak2 mental dah.
kecewa?
hurm,mungkin.
more to kecewa dgn diri sendri.
ntahla..

aku byk bermain2 dgn perasaan skunk.
aku rasa mungkin coz aku xdpt handle pressure ni.
so,aku rasa disappointed.
aku nak sgt lari dari masalah ni..
contoh mcm,tbe2 yus kawen dgn aku ke..
dah xyah blajar.
xpun aku ada tumor,n aku disuruh enjoy life,coz xidup lme dah.
hehe~
aku dah mle merapu.

so,skunk,aku ske berlari.
no,berlari dr masalah,not berlari as if jogging tuh.
aku benci jog k?
huu~

aku tau,ramai gak yg cbe lari dr masalah diorg.
tp dlm kes aku,aku xley lari mana2.
aku still stuck kat cni.
nak xnak,aku kne hadapi gak.
tp semangat aku makin ilang.

lagi2 subjek yg paling aku minat,
seronok menguji kesabaran aku.

ilang dah semangat yg dlu berkobar2,berapi2.
hanya menanti keluar dari sini.

masa depan yang xpasti.

haaiihh~~

pe la nk jadi ni..